Not any more! I am also… Formerly Able to Sleep Through The Night (Why is this an issue? I’m only 40! OMG I amimage has been resized my grandmother!!!)

Formerly Blissfully Unaware of Preschool Politics (Freaking nightmare)

Formerly Frisky (Who has the time or energy for sex anymore?)

Formerly Pop Culture Savvy (Or, Formerly Able to Recognize More Than Half of the Starlets in US and People Magazines… Who the HELL is Hayden Panettiere and how would I have heard of her?)

Formerly Fertile (not that I’m trying…)

Formerly Afraid of Telemarketers (“Not interested. Thanks.” CLICK. So painfully simple, really.)

Formerly Obsessed with Perfection (Who am I trying to impress? Who cares if my bed is made?)

Formerly Addicted to Aerobics (Ten years of that crap and I never looked any different)

Formerly Free to Spend My Own Income Without Asking Anyone’s Permission (This one still kinda pisses me off)

Formerly Able to Live without a Crackberry and Even Go–GASP–an Hour Without Checking and Returning Email(Seriously. How did I DO this?)

Formerly Constantly Threatening to Write a Book (I actually DID it! And it doesn’t totally suck, I’m told! Yeah me!!!)