OK, they do, but it’s usually like, “I didn’t break that,” or “I’ve got a giraffe in my house,” and not when they’re commenting about your appearance.

I drop my girls off at school this morning. It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Alexander-style day. Sasha loses the quarter we’d told her to put away and is so beside herself that we won’t replace it that she walks into the side-view mirror and gets a nasty welt on her cheek. I spend extra time with her in her classroom to soothe her and explain why she can’t have more money, so when I get to Viv’s class, she’s hysterical that I’m spending so much time with Sasha. The crying has taken on a momentum of its own so that even though she wants to stop she can’t. As I finally make my way to the door, Olivia, the daughter of friends of ours, comes up to me.

“Can I tell you something? Why is your hair so messy?” she asked, truly confused that someone could have neglected their personal grooming so egregiously.

“Because I spent so much time brushing Vivian’s hair this morning. Doesn’t it look nice?” She nodded that it did. “I didn’t have time to do my own.” She just blinked. “It’s always messy. Why?”

This I really couldn’t answer.

In the absence of a shower, in which I wet if not wash my curly hair, it looks like shit–frizzy, the curls unfurled, like Einstein’s eyebrows, although thus far not as gray.  I don’t shower in the morning anymore because my husband does and it takes too long if we both do. Someone has to do the girls’ hair, which takes awhile because there’s always, like, frosting or something in it.

Olivia’s comment made me realize that although my hair looks better than when I got out of bed (I tamp it down with water and maybe some product), it’s not passable, even to a five-year-old who would probably think nothing of putting her whole face in a bowl of brownie batter and licking her way out. (OK, I do that, but still.)

Things have sunk to a new low. Time to grow some pride, get up even earlier, take a damn shower and leave the house looking human.

(Einstein = genius so he can pull it off.)images-2.jpg