Comments on: No mirrors, please!

By: julie

julie — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 20:05:22 +0000

By the way, Dre, so nice to see you here! What an article. All that is right around the corner for me with Theo. Ready, set, go!

By: Julie

Julie — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 19:35:45 +0000

Steph, that is a beautiful awake-to-the world and coming-of-age image, and I think anyone with half a mind would see the magic of it! If hormones help these awarenesses, great!

As per your question, my short cut answer is I have had periodic moments throughout my life where I felt my best — physically and emotionally — like a whole and complete person. Some in adolescense (when I was creative and raw) and some when I was a young wanderer of the city, or at clubs (for better or worse.)

Other moments as a teacher, student, lover, or friend. I think the insecurites were always battling to knock these moments down. But I do think we are an exciting age, when the insecurities are in perspective, and we have lots of power of experience, and passion, and sensuality, and possibility.

So, I would have to say maybe the best times for me are still ahead? it is great to read about how people feel about themselves now.

By: StephanieDolgoff

StephanieDolgoff — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 23:14:45 +0000

i just have to point out that everyone who says that girl in the picture is cute is now a mom of a kid who is about to enter that stage her or himself and is so oozing with the very hormones that allow a mom to see a child as beautiful no matter what. (With the exception of Hugh Siegel, who is just an extremely empathetic soul.) I know I will feel that way about my own girls when they are there. Some people should not have been allowed to have blow dryers.

By: Kely

Kely — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 20:05:39 +0000

I agree you were SUPER cute! and had every right to feel like hot shit!
I also feel the best about myself now than I ever have. Lowered expectations?…maybe, but I also believe it has to do with a HUGE change in the things that make one feel hot as one gets older.

Don’t get me wrong I am as vain as we all are, but somehow my butt does not have the power to ruin my day as it once had, and I appreciate all of the actually great things about my body, which I could not see years ago.

By: Julie

Julie — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 19:31:42 +0000

Wonderful NYC late-70s picture. Love the pose, from the knees, to the wrist, and chin.

As you well may know, I was one of the people who once had my hair done to look like yours. Truth is, I am still a bit envious of your gorgeous locks! But I guess we all need to do the best with what we have! You always have, and always had, a beautiful and creative style. The gestures here show how fully you were experiencing that.

As per your questions, I have a couple thoughts… will pick one and come back…

By: Amy

Amy — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 12:38:50 +0000

My looking my best (which isn’t saying much) and how I’ve felt haven’t been in synch - enough that I don’t think they have a thing to do with the other. Now that my butt has decided to leave the building by crawling down my leg and chasms are appearing on what was dewy and unlined skin, I am beginning to be happiest about myself. Perhaps the mantra my aunts drilled into me “You’re just a late bloomer, dear” is true, just not in the way they meant.

Love the wrist flick you have going on. Very Audrey.

By: Hugh Siegel

Hugh Siegel — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 12:05:58 +0000

I don’t know what you’re talking about. You were adorable in that photo. The point being that — even though you have a map of when you think you looked good and when you didn’t — you may not really even understand when you were most attractive to others.

But I’m not here to analyze you Ms. Formerly — that’s your job.

I’ll just say that I’ve always felt best when I’ve had strong and loyal love in my life. And it didn’t matter how I looked at the time. And when I’ve had that, I don’t even really think about how I look. So, to me, it’s just that simple.

By: LIsa Bain

LIsa Bain — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 09:34:48 +0000

There was this brief time during the summer between 7th and 8th, on a trip with my parents and bro to a family camping ground. I was hanging out with all the young teens, and we were pairing up in the usual (innocent) way….And cute Vinnie something-or-other (he was SO COOL! Had a silver front tooth, which impressed us greatly) picked me over blond-and-perky Cris. It was completely surprising (the first moment when I felt POWER), though looking back and can see the appeal of my waist-length red hair, etc!

By: Joel Jacobs

Joel Jacobs — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 04:25:27 +0000

A really difficult question to answer. I feel like I should have a graph in my head like you do, which tracks the ups and downs, but it’s not really there. I don’t think it’s that I have no sense, just a very fuzzy, complicated sense.

My sense is that I’ve always been confident and insecure. I’ve always felt mostly good about myself, but not completely, and I wasn’t even aware of the ways in which I didn’t. And the sensitive spots shifted over time, though mostly had to do with my attractiveness to the female species. But I’m not sure the lack of self-confidence even correlated well with poor self-image. I spent much of my teenage and adult life afraid of rejection, but not necessarily because I expected to be rejected, but because I didn’t know or couldn’t tolerate any risk of it. Maybe it’s the same thing. Maybe I started out pretty good and never evolved.

By: Jean-Francis

Jean-Francis — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 03:40:15 +0000

Is it sad that I feel best about myself now? I used to take myself waay to seriously and was an all or nothing kind of guy. Now, the glass is always half full. Hell, I’m happy if it’s a quarter full!

So even though I know I’m not as attractive as I was 15 to 20 years ago, “I feel good!” (thank you James Brown!)