Comments on: Quit it with the qualifiers http://www.formerlyhot.com/2009/04/quit-it-with-the-qualifiers/ The tween site for adults Thu, 09 Feb 2012 02:16:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: Joel Jacobs http://www.formerlyhot.com/2009/04/quit-it-with-the-qualifiers/comment-page-1/#comment-827 Joel Jacobs Sun, 12 Apr 2009 03:27:49 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/index.php/2009/04/08/quit-it-with-the-qualifiers/#comment-827 Is this a surprise? When you're young, you don't really see older people as peers, or perhaps even fully human. You don't fully relate to them. You think of them as old. They can look good within their category. Like, a 18-year-old might see a "cute doggy," but wouldn't think of the dog as cute in the same way she thinks of a guy her age as cute. Your point is that a woman (or man) can be beautiful at any age, in a universal sort of way. I'm not sure I agree. Our perspectives have adjusted with our ages, so we can find a pretty big range of people attractive. But even we would acknowledge limits. I might find child beautiful, but for a child, and not in the same way that I would find a 30-year-old or 40-year-old beautiful. And there are few 70-year-olds who strike me as beautiful, at least on a visceral level. I'm more likely to look at a 70-year-old woman or man and find her/him attractive for that age, or imagine what they must have looked like when they were younger and "in the game" where attractiveness mattered. My eyes are not able to view the full range of human age as potentially beautiful, without an asterisk. I don't think I'm alone. So I guess the other question is, if some or all of us are conscious of age when viewing beauty, and connect the two, is there something wrong about saying so? As a woman conscious of getting older, you might have felt better if they hadn't asterisked---maybe you felt like they were condemning or putting you down along with Natasha? OTOH, there's not really much reason TO say "for her age." Maybe it is a way of emphasizing the difference between speaker and object. Is this a surprise? When you’re young, you don’t really see older people as peers, or perhaps even fully human. You don’t fully relate to them. You think of them as old. They can look good within their category. Like, a 18-year-old might see a “cute doggy,” but wouldn’t think of the dog as cute in the same way she thinks of a guy her age as cute.

Your point is that a woman (or man) can be beautiful at any age, in a universal sort of way. I’m not sure I agree. Our perspectives have adjusted with our ages, so we can find a pretty big range of people attractive. But even we would acknowledge limits. I might find child beautiful, but for a child, and not in the same way that I would find a 30-year-old or 40-year-old beautiful. And there are few 70-year-olds who strike me as beautiful, at least on a visceral level. I’m more likely to look at a 70-year-old woman or man and find her/him attractive for that age, or imagine what they must have looked like when they were younger and “in the game” where attractiveness mattered.

My eyes are not able to view the full range of human age as potentially beautiful, without an asterisk. I don’t think I’m alone.

So I guess the other question is, if some or all of us are conscious of age when viewing beauty, and connect the two, is there something wrong about saying so? As a woman conscious of getting older, you might have felt better if they hadn’t asterisked—maybe you felt like they were condemning or putting you down along with Natasha? OTOH, there’s not really much reason TO say “for her age.” Maybe it is a way of emphasizing the difference between speaker and object.

]]> By: Kely http://www.formerlyhot.com/2009/04/quit-it-with-the-qualifiers/comment-page-1/#comment-817 Kely Thu, 09 Apr 2009 03:34:53 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/index.php/2009/04/08/quit-it-with-the-qualifiers/#comment-817 I'm with you. I also think they should do away with Ma'am, as I believe in today's day and age, especially in NYC, it is used as a slight and not a show of respect. I have often seen the irritation and resentment in the odd check out person's eye when they use it. As they, I am sure, see the pain and despair in mine upon hearing it. I’m with you. I also think they should do away with Ma’am, as I believe in today’s day and age, especially in NYC, it is used as a slight and not a show of respect. I have often seen the irritation and resentment in the odd check out person’s eye when they use it. As they, I am sure, see the pain and despair in mine upon hearing it.

]]>