LAURA WROTE: I turned 32 this week, and am no longer officially young (thanks to Asher Roth’s MILF age qualifier of being at least 32 - I don’t even have KIDS, and I’m officially a frigging MILF?). When did I cross the line from Miss to Ma’am?
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Perspective, people
CATHY WROTE: I just read your book and appreciated it, though I can't really relate. Not only am I 15 years older than you, I was never hot. I have a mild case of cerebral palsy; while I can, thank God, walk and talk, I limp and my right arm swings like a broken tree branch. When I shop for clothes, style doesn't count. Can I get into it by myself? Will these shoes support my right ankle?
A classic, truly
WENDY WROTE: I'm strangely not embarrassed to admit that my FORMERLY moment involves a velour jogging suit, fleece-lined crocs, a bird store...and Cheerios.
Agree?
QUEEN WROTE: There comes a time in your life when u suddenly realize that you are not cute anymore. You are still pretty and more secure, hopefully more intelligent and secure, but you just don't turn heads the way you used to. But its not because you became ugly, I believe there are beautiful and ugly in young and old.
Relief, of a kind
KIKI WROTE: Finally! I don't get hit on all the time. It's kind of nice to be able to go to the store and be checked out (no pun intended) without the clerk asking me if I've got a boyfriend. D
Olivia d’Abo was the hot older daughter!
JULIE WROTE: The AmeriCorps (2o-something) in my office were discussing dopplegangers. I remarked that I was never really told I look like anyone-oh, except for the sister on the Wonder Years (Olivia d'Abo character)...to which the reply (nonsnarky, just curious) was..."don't you mean the mom?" What???
HILARIOUS
CHRISTINE WROTE: ...Last year my 13 year old step daughter wore my dress to a birthday party. I told my friends the story and one of the husbands replied, "that was a farewell dress. Farewell to size 4."
9-year-old fashion tips
LAURA WROTE: My 9 year old daughter, who knows everything, informed me that I was too old to even think about wearing a bikini or even a two piece. She informed me that tankini's were OK because they covered my flabby parts and made it easy for me since I have to go to the bathroom so much (bladder sling surgery in 3 months.)
Becoming more of “me”
VICTORIA WROTE: Here's what I hope will be my formerly secret...I am on the other side of Hot, but I can become more of me and more intriguing and have more fun with my family. I am starting to do things that are more exciting, more fun, and double as exercise. Recently I've tried and really LOVED rock climbing (safe kind at county park on 50' wall with harness) and kayaking. I'm becoming more fun, and I find me more interesting too--and it gets me off my fanny and out with my daughter (9) and hubby!
Formerly “That Girl”
MIKALEE WROTE: Yip, that was me: Married to my soul mate, educated, skyrocketing career, copious friends, 2.25 children and a picket fence. My friends often called me "that girl," as in "she's that girl you love to hate or hate to love. The girl who has it all." I really did have it all. Until my marriage ended with a brick--a literal brick. You can't make this sh*t up, right? ...It's been a roller coaster ride, but I'm in the front row, arms up and only screaming occasionally. ;) Thank you for allowing us to embrace our "formerly" and our "finally." Here's to our versions 2.0, 3.0, 4.0, etc. Can't wait to read your book!
Ms. Menopause
CITY GIRL WROTE: The she-devil will soon face the joy of watching her tattoo slip down her side like a glob of jelly; glimmering with the sweat of her ever more frequent hot flashes. I may be formerly hot, but not that hot ; )
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I think the point of MILF is that you’ve been through the horribly disfiguring act of childbirth and you are STILL attractive. Yuck.
I’m 50 and was referred to as a MLF when I went up onstage at Irish Kevin’s in Key West during Spring Break. Just go for it. Please go to my blog to read about being 50.