By: Aimee

Aimee — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 01:03:46 +0000

Great post. Someone once said something in regards to, when people say “but” in a sentence, the next part is that person telling us what they really mean. So I just ignore everything before the “but”. However, when we talk about others’ bad behavior, I try to think, how can I react in a way that is both positive and gets the offender to think about how their words come across? What could be said to that woman, or are we too afraid to confront hateful behavior such as hers? I applaud you bringing attention to the words she spoke, and wholly agree that people, especially women, need to stop prefacing whatever they say in order to sound ‘nice’ or ‘agreeable’. We are told our whole lives as women that we need to get along, not stick out, play fair, make ourselves smaller in order to accommodate others. There are ways we can all communicate in a way that says how we feel openly, honestly, and tactfully, without making excuses for what we are about to say.

By: Kely Nascimento-DeLuca

Kely Nascimento-DeLuca — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 18:27:53 +0000

OK, I agree with most of it. A few things though…,
1. I applaud your restraint in using the word ’silly’ when referring to testing 4 yr olds.
2. I don’t mean to sound indignant, but I find it insulting that great feminist such as yourself presumes that its naturally the mom would be willing to sleep with the principal to get her child ahead. I know for a fact that my husband would be willing to sleep with a great number of people if it meant the perceived well being of our children.
3. Again, I don’t mean to disagree but I am often buffering my unsolicited opinions (which is to say, most of them) with something like, “for what its worth…” and now I feel compelled to explain: I am always giving my opinion, its pathological, and I sometimes feel like removing the burden of giving said opinion any credence off of the listener by adding a disclaimer, thus allowing me to continue to impart sublime understanding of all things worldly and good and at the same time allowing you, the listener, a pass.
Its like when I am complaining to my husband about one of his many flaws. i will begin with something like; “I know I have many flaws myself, but…” OBVIOUSLY I don’t mean that! Its just a nice way to frame it…
Anyway, I have been completely unaware of the double and potentially carcinogenic meaning of my little niceties and i will try to be more careful.
Although…I dont mean to be rude but, you really should let these things go, you know WE can’t afford any more wrinkles

Comments on: Please drop your guard so I can insult you

By: Aimee

By: Kely Nascimento-DeLuca