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The tween site for adults

Month

January 2010

M.C. owes me, big

I think this may be the beginning of a protracted personal vendetta against the singer and Disney Channel starlet whose name I dare not write. I’d call it a feud, of the variety that Hulk Hogan would have to weigh… Continue Reading →

Get off of my cloud, Miley Cyrus

This month, all the moms and dads in my daughters’ first grade classes have been taking turns being interviewed by the children about their jobs. It’s all very sweet–the kids learn how to be polite, to listen, to take notes… Continue Reading →

More things I know now

That “skinny jeans” are only skinny if you’re skinny That any jacket can be a fitted jacket, if you’ve put on enough weight That I am not, nor was I ever, skinny If I am ever skinny in the future,… Continue Reading →

Vet? Is that another word for old?

In Magazineland, yes, it is. But I don’t mind because they made such a nice mention of my book and blog. Crazy busy at the new job, but enjoying working with excellent people and, well, feel lucky to be working…. Continue Reading →

What I know now

There have been many instances in which I’ve said, “If I only knew then what I know now.” But then when I look at what I know now, it doesn’t seem like anything I’d ever want to apply in retrospect…. Continue Reading →

Pre-caffeination, anyone?

Someone needs to invent an alarm clock that’s rigged to an IV coffee drip, so that 20 minutes before your actual wake up time, a slow stream of stimulant begins to tick its way through your bloodstream up to your… Continue Reading →

Less is less

KELLY WROTE: Am I the only one out here that has to spend three times longer applying twice as much stuff to look half as I good way back when?

Formerlies just wanna have fun, too!

I remember this scene from Great Expectations, when Pip visits Miss Havisham in her home, and comes upon the wealthy spinster dressed in a rotting, decrepit wedding gown, surrounded by the detritus of her would-be wedding reception. Mice run in… Continue Reading →

God, I love the Canadians!

Check it out: Elle Canada mentioned Formerlyhot.com in their 2010 horoscope column! I’m hoping that the other 11 signs of the zodiac will pop by for a read, and not just cancers. What’s cool about their mention is that I… Continue Reading →