Comments on: Howdy, haters! http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/howdy-haters/ The tween site for adults Wed, 23 May 2012 10:07:29 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: Leslie http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/howdy-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-4539 Leslie Fri, 20 Aug 2010 21:28:08 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2198#comment-4539 Great response! There will always be people who look at something without humor, get offended and rant about it, even though they didn't understand the message in the first place. I, for one, applaud you for talking about these issues. I love your blog and am excited to read your book! Great response! There will always be people who look at something without humor, get offended and rant about it, even though they didn’t understand the message in the first place. I, for one, applaud you for talking about these issues. I love your blog and am excited to read your book!

]]> By: Are You Formerly Hot? at Welcome to Bunch! http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/howdy-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-3955 Are You Formerly Hot? at Welcome to Bunch! Thu, 12 Aug 2010 15:17:27 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2198#comment-3955 [...] care anymore, which is kind of cool, right? (Jezebel certainly doesn’t think so. In a blog post on her website, Dolgoff describes how they slammed her book in a [...] [...] care anymore, which is kind of cool, right? (Jezebel certainly doesn’t think so. In a blog post on her website, Dolgoff describes how they slammed her book in a [...]

]]> By: Kim http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/howdy-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-3895 Kim Tue, 10 Aug 2010 14:10:42 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2198#comment-3895 I just found your website via the Times (I guess I'm a 'formerly on top of what's cool') and I love it. Too many people out there don't know how to see irony at all, and it's sad because for those who really are obsessed with looks and youth, they could use a little irony. Looking forward to reading your book, and glad to hear someone push the term "middle aged" further away from 40-ish. It's great to be this age, but not what it used to be and it deserves a little humor and respect. I just found your website via the Times (I guess I’m a ‘formerly on top of what’s cool’) and I love it. Too many people out there don’t know how to see irony at all, and it’s sad because for those who really are obsessed with looks and youth, they could use a little irony.

Looking forward to reading your book, and glad to hear someone push the term “middle aged” further away from 40-ish. It’s great to be this age, but not what it used to be and it deserves a little humor and respect.

]]> By: suzanne http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/howdy-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-3883 suzanne Tue, 10 Aug 2010 05:09:56 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2198#comment-3883 I read the NYT article, and I got ya, and I was also surprised by all the haters. Maybe there's not so readers many in our age group? I'm a 44yo and an artist, so I can wear "whatever"(no job structure to influence my appearance) but tend toward the cliche artist look, lots of black, stylish, etc. It doesn't rule my life, but what I wear is important to me, a form of expression through my appearance. I'm an artist, so I am very visual. And I have too many shoes too, but the older I get the harder it is to find comfortable ones that look good - especially in Seattle. And there's a big difference between being vain and giving a damn about your appearance, so polarized, it's just not that black and white. We are in between, often looking a bit younger than our actual age, neither here nor there. There's no "formerly" for me, but I got the joke too ;) I read the NYT article, and I got ya, and I was also surprised by all the haters.
Maybe there’s not so readers many in our age group? I’m a 44yo and an artist, so I can wear “whatever”(no job structure to influence my appearance) but tend toward the cliche artist look, lots of black, stylish, etc. It doesn’t rule my life, but what I wear is important to me, a form of expression through my appearance. I’m an artist, so I am very visual. And I have too many shoes too, but the older I get the harder it is to find comfortable ones that look good - especially in Seattle.
And there’s a big difference between being vain and giving a damn about your appearance, so polarized, it’s just not that black and white. We are in between, often looking a bit younger than our actual age, neither here nor there. There’s no “formerly” for me, but I got the joke too ;)

]]> By: Sonia http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/howdy-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-3863 Sonia Mon, 09 Aug 2010 21:31:26 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2198#comment-3863 Love that you posted this! Love that you posted this!

]]> By: Maurice http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/howdy-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-3856 Maurice Mon, 09 Aug 2010 16:01:50 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2198#comment-3856 Ree-diculous! forget them...have a laugh on me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxra2Nn7K9Y Luv ya! Maurice Ree-diculous! forget them…have a laugh on me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxra2Nn7K9Y

Luv ya!
Maurice

]]> By: Tula Karras http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/howdy-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-3855 Tula Karras Mon, 09 Aug 2010 15:59:09 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2198#comment-3855 Congrats on your very measured response to the haters, Steph--you're more diplomatic than I would have been. It's not that others can't have opinions about your writing and ideas and, as you say, debate them. But for crissakes, can't people lighten up just a little bit? My favorite "hater" comments are the ones which take you to task for talking about shoes and fashion ... IN THE STYLE SECTION of the NY Times. I find it shocking that people are responding so vehemently to YOUR opinion and YOUR feelings about the way that YOU'RE aging. Also, I'd bet my entire makeup collection on the fact that every one of those women who claim to not relate to your experience have, at one time or another, felt less hot because of their age. They just refuse to face it, talk about it, own it, explore it. "Zip it! No, I'm totally hot now, and always will be. No, don't even suggest I"m not...no, stop. I don't want to talk about it!!! I'm hot, hotter, hottest!" You've clearly touched a verve with all the back-and-forth. Congrats!! I'm super duper proud of you (and I always have been, and always will be...no formerly going on there!). Congrats on your very measured response to the haters, Steph–you’re more diplomatic than I would have been. It’s not that others can’t have opinions about your writing and ideas and, as you say, debate them. But for crissakes, can’t people lighten up just a little bit? My favorite “hater” comments are the ones which take you to task for talking about shoes and fashion … IN THE STYLE SECTION of the NY Times.

I find it shocking that people are responding so vehemently to YOUR opinion and YOUR feelings about the way that YOU’RE aging. Also, I’d bet my entire makeup collection on the fact that every one of those women who claim to not relate to your experience have, at one time or another, felt less hot because of their age. They just refuse to face it, talk about it, own it, explore it. “Zip it! No, I’m totally hot now, and always will be. No, don’t even suggest I”m not…no, stop. I don’t want to talk about it!!! I’m hot, hotter, hottest!”

You’ve clearly touched a verve with all the back-and-forth. Congrats!! I’m super duper proud of you (and I always have been, and always will be…no formerly going on there!).

]]> By: Sam http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/howdy-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-3852 Sam Mon, 09 Aug 2010 15:17:58 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2198#comment-3852 Being this vain is a turn-off no matter what age you are. It shouldn't come as a surprise that women in their 40s and 50s should put to pasture clothes that a 20 year-old would wear, it's only common sense. Hell, the clothes that 20 year-olds wear these days should be put out to pasture too. If you're married with kids and still trying to turn heads at that age, you might need professional help, not anecdotal help. I just can't believe the country we live in, woman are obsessed with their looks, obsessed! There is plenty of blame to go around for that, but it's hard to overlook the vast contributions that women themselves have made to this ailment, the magazines, the books (wink, wink) are part of it - all written and put out by women. There is no such thing as a woman organically coming to terms with her self-image because she is essentially force fed a steady diet of how to deal with her self image "problem" since she is 15 years old. I feel sorry for all women living in this country, I really do. Because so there is so much emphasis on looks in every facet of their lives. But they bring it on themselves most of the time, they create an ideal that they don't need to create. Don't be resentful of other women, don't be catty when you are jealous of another person whom you seem to think, for whatever reason, is better or better looking than you. There is no reason for it. None. I will admit that I am attracted to younger women, but I am also attracted to women my age and older women. One thing I am not attracted to is a vain woman who just can't accept herself for who she is, who obsesses ad nauseum with her age and aging and looks and whatever's sagging and the perfect this or that, etc, etc, etc. The narcissism and obsession this creates is just so damaging. And in the author's case, and any other parent who's vanity is so evident, it's not only damaging to themselves but to their own children. The kids will now have to be super-aware of their looks and others looks and everybody's appearance. What a meaningless cycle. Too much energy, thought, and time wasted, gone spent. Being this vain is a turn-off no matter what age you are. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that women in their 40s and 50s should put to pasture clothes that a 20 year-old would wear, it’s only common sense. Hell, the clothes that 20 year-olds wear these days should be put out to pasture too. If you’re married with kids and still trying to turn heads at that age, you might need professional help, not anecdotal help. I just can’t believe the country we live in, woman are obsessed with their looks, obsessed! There is plenty of blame to go around for that, but it’s hard to overlook the vast contributions that women themselves have made to this ailment, the magazines, the books (wink, wink) are part of it - all written and put out by women. There is no such thing as a woman organically coming to terms with her self-image because she is essentially force fed a steady diet of how to deal with her self image “problem” since she is 15 years old.
I feel sorry for all women living in this country, I really do. Because so there is so much emphasis on looks in every facet of their lives. But they bring it on themselves most of the time, they create an ideal that they don’t need to create. Don’t be resentful of other women, don’t be catty when you are jealous of another person whom you seem to think, for whatever reason, is better or better looking than you. There is no reason for it. None. I will admit that I am attracted to younger women, but I am also attracted to women my age and older women. One thing I am not attracted to is a vain woman who just can’t accept herself for who she is, who obsesses ad nauseum with her age and aging and looks and whatever’s sagging and the perfect this or that, etc, etc, etc. The narcissism and obsession this creates is just so damaging. And in the author’s case, and any other parent who’s vanity is so evident, it’s not only damaging to themselves but to their own children. The kids will now have to be super-aware of their looks and others looks and everybody’s appearance. What a meaningless cycle.
Too much energy, thought, and time wasted, gone spent.

]]> By: April http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/howdy-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-3851 April Mon, 09 Aug 2010 15:04:25 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2198#comment-3851 I'm going to buy your book today! I'm a little younger than you, and have definitely felt "formerly" at times, but I'd have to admit, I'm a bit off put by the label. I never considered the twenties the apex of anything good... I mean, I did some neat stuff (like got way ahead in my career) but in my thirties I feel that like Christina Aguliera, I just keep gettin' better. Still, I know what it's like to have haters cause I've had quite a few just from doing media appearances on an unrelated topic. It's hard, even if you laugh it off. You handled it gracefully. Hang in there, and don't let it ruin your day. Reasonable people can disagree, so focus on the reasonable people who disagree with you, and let the rest go. And btw, at least in your pictures, you're beautiful! You couldn't walk down a street in Philadelphia without getting checked out at least five times. Move here! April I’m going to buy your book today! I’m a little younger than you, and have definitely felt “formerly” at times, but I’d have to admit, I’m a bit off put by the label. I never considered the twenties the apex of anything good… I mean, I did some neat stuff (like got way ahead in my career) but in my thirties I feel that like Christina Aguliera, I just keep gettin’ better.

Still, I know what it’s like to have haters cause I’ve had quite a few just from doing media appearances on an unrelated topic. It’s hard, even if you laugh it off. You handled it gracefully. Hang in there, and don’t let it ruin your day. Reasonable people can disagree, so focus on the reasonable people who disagree with you, and let the rest go.

And btw, at least in your pictures, you’re beautiful! You couldn’t walk down a street in Philadelphia without getting checked out at least five times. Move here!

April

]]> By: Amy http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/howdy-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-3849 Amy Mon, 09 Aug 2010 13:18:01 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2198#comment-3849 Well played. Well played.

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