Comments on: I’m torn… http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/im-torn/ The tween site for adults Wed, 23 May 2012 10:10:55 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: Tula Karras http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/im-torn/comment-page-1/#comment-3930 Tula Karras Wed, 11 Aug 2010 14:18:00 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2219#comment-3930 Mary--Yes, sorry! I meant the author of the Salon article, Mary Elizabeth Williams. Sorry for the confusion! Mary–Yes, sorry! I meant the author of the Salon article, Mary Elizabeth Williams. Sorry for the confusion!

]]> By: Mary http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/im-torn/comment-page-1/#comment-3919 Mary Wed, 11 Aug 2010 02:24:16 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2219#comment-3919 Sam, I was not really ever looking to debate. Just was expressing my feelings. Obviously you feel passionate about your take on this. That is your right. I am just a women who happens to think this book and it's author have found a way to convey the feelings of many women who know all to well the feelings of being Formerly Hot ! That does not mean that they are obsessing over aging... it simply means that they have found a humorous way to reminisce about our past. In no way does it mean that you are not happy with who you are at this time in life. .... Perhaps, if you were a women, you might understand how they feel more. And please don't take offense at that.... I don't pretend to know how a man feels about his aging self. And yes, I do think we think and feel differently about these things. Sam,
I was not really ever looking to debate. Just was expressing my feelings. Obviously you feel passionate about your take on this. That is your right. I am just a women who happens to think this book and it’s author have found a way to convey the feelings of many women who know all to well the feelings of being Formerly Hot ! That does not mean that they are obsessing over aging… it simply means that they have found a humorous way to reminisce about our past. In no way does it mean that you are not happy with who you are at this time in life. …. Perhaps, if you were a women, you might understand how they feel more. And please don’t take offense at that…. I don’t pretend to know how a man feels about his aging self. And yes, I do think we think and feel differently about these things.

]]> By: Sam http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/im-torn/comment-page-1/#comment-3915 Sam Tue, 10 Aug 2010 20:54:48 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2219#comment-3915 Mary, You assumed I was male and yet you said this in response to my comment: "I find it strange that women get so defensive about this! Lighten up." Hmmm, so I just made sure to clarify my sex to ensure you were making the right assumption, whatever it really was. I did not feel knocked down by your comment but rather felt that saying "lighten up" wasn't really a conversation or a conveyance of any sort of thought, point of view, whatever. I could obviously say the same thing in response to your comment. "Mary, whoa, lighten up at the criticism, it's a point of view! Just relax, ok!?" But instead I offered up an opinion that you can debate, if you so choose. Sure, the subject matter does strike a chord with me (and it's not just this blog or the ideas here) but I admit that and stand by it instead of offering up some feigned, apathetic "whatever" remark. I'm not saying you are doing that, I am just saying I will avoid a more typical, canned responses a peer might give. Obviously no apologies are needed, I just think it's worthwhile to ponder the value in obsessing about your appearance. The fact that people have so much time and energy to do so and CHOOSE to do so is a strong statement as to who we are. Mary,
You assumed I was male and yet you said this in response to my comment: “I find it strange that women get so defensive about this! Lighten up.” Hmmm, so I just made sure to clarify my sex to ensure you were making the right assumption, whatever it really was.
I did not feel knocked down by your comment but rather felt that saying “lighten up” wasn’t really a conversation or a conveyance of any sort of thought, point of view, whatever. I could obviously say the same thing in response to your comment. “Mary, whoa, lighten up at the criticism, it’s a point of view! Just relax, ok!?” But instead I offered up an opinion that you can debate, if you so choose.
Sure, the subject matter does strike a chord with me (and it’s not just this blog or the ideas here) but I admit that and stand by it instead of offering up some feigned, apathetic “whatever” remark. I’m not saying you are doing that, I am just saying I will avoid a more typical, canned responses a peer might give.
Obviously no apologies are needed, I just think it’s worthwhile to ponder the value in obsessing about your appearance. The fact that people have so much time and energy to do so and CHOOSE to do so is a strong statement as to who we are.

]]> By: Mary http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/im-torn/comment-page-1/#comment-3908 Mary Tue, 10 Aug 2010 19:06:33 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2219#comment-3908 Maybe Tula.... you meant the Mary who wrote the nasty article? :) Maybe Tula…. you meant the Mary who wrote the nasty article? :)

]]> By: Formerly Hot Fred http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/im-torn/comment-page-1/#comment-3903 Formerly Hot Fred Tue, 10 Aug 2010 18:01:43 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2219#comment-3903 Well here's the male perspective: - If a woman walks by and my mouth drops open or my heart skips a beat, the she "looks hot". If a woman walks by and nothing happens, well then she does not. Doing a quick scan on the net, it appears Mary Elizabeth Williams falls in this category, whether she wants to admit it or not. I would certainly describe her as "formerly". That doesn't mean a woman doesn't have other things to offer, like personality, intelligence, money, nurturing, friendship, professionalism, et cetera..... it just means that "looks hot" is off the list, after you passed age 30. It happens to ALL of us, even the men. (See Tom Cruise as example.) To deny it seems silly. Well here’s the male perspective:

- If a woman walks by and my mouth drops open or my heart skips a beat, the she “looks hot”.

If a woman walks by and nothing happens, well then she does not. Doing a quick scan on the net, it appears Mary Elizabeth Williams falls in this category, whether she wants to admit it or not. I would certainly describe her as “formerly”.

That doesn’t mean a woman doesn’t have other things to offer, like personality, intelligence, money, nurturing, friendship, professionalism, et cetera….. it just means that “looks hot” is off the list, after you passed age 30. It happens to ALL of us, even the men. (See Tom Cruise as example.)

To deny it seems silly.

]]> By: April http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/im-torn/comment-page-1/#comment-3902 April Tue, 10 Aug 2010 17:48:36 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2219#comment-3902 Salon.com wrote something really nasty about me without ever contacting me for comment... and I don't even have a book out! Hang in there... and your nose is gorgeous, tell your daughter that you'll get a nose job if she saves her allowance money until she's forty-three to pay for it. april Salon.com wrote something really nasty about me without ever contacting me for comment… and I don’t even have a book out! Hang in there… and your nose is gorgeous, tell your daughter that you’ll get a nose job if she saves her allowance money until she’s forty-three to pay for it.

april

]]> By: Mary http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/im-torn/comment-page-1/#comment-3900 Mary Tue, 10 Aug 2010 16:51:14 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2219#comment-3900 Tula, Perhaps I am being misunderstood here. I love my younger self, older self, who I was, am and am going to be :) I too, love the concept of this book, and the humorous way Stephanie presents real life. I believe in loving who you are, how you look and Every age you have been and will be. That is it! Plan and simple. This book will , I am sure touch many women who love the way it is presented. You will be seeing this on the bestsellers list for sure. Tula,
Perhaps I am being misunderstood here. I love my younger self, older self, who I was, am and am going to be :) I too, love the concept of this book, and the humorous way Stephanie presents real life. I believe in loving who you are, how you look and Every age you have been and will be. That is it! Plan and simple. This book will , I am sure touch many women who love the way it is presented. You will be seeing this on the bestsellers list for sure.

]]> By: Tula Karras http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/im-torn/comment-page-1/#comment-3898 Tula Karras Tue, 10 Aug 2010 15:42:39 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2219#comment-3898 The Salon writer ended her piece with the most bizarre and narrow-minded statement: "I don't ever want to define myself but what I've been." Really? You can't carve out, wholesale, parts of your past and decide they don't count...it's HOW you decide that count that matters. (Hello, the entire profession of psychotherapy, anyone?). You may love or not love who you were in your 20s, 30s, 40s, but if you don't come to terms with your younger self in some regard, you're handicapping your future, the future the author insists is going to include the best days of her life. Good luck with that, Mary, considering you've divested yourself of Younger Mary. Steph, I admire the way you have worked at connecting the dots of your life in an interesting, entertaining, humorous and insightful way. It's brave, it's creative and it's inspiring. And people will get that when they read your book. All my friends are getting your book for the holidays, dammit! It's required reading! The Salon writer ended her piece with the most bizarre and narrow-minded statement: “I don’t ever want to define myself but what I’ve been.” Really? You can’t carve out, wholesale, parts of your past and decide they don’t count…it’s HOW you decide that count that matters. (Hello, the entire profession of psychotherapy, anyone?). You may love or not love who you were in your 20s, 30s, 40s, but if you don’t come to terms with your younger self in some regard, you’re handicapping your future, the future the author insists is going to include the best days of her life. Good luck with that, Mary, considering you’ve divested yourself of Younger Mary.

Steph, I admire the way you have worked at connecting the dots of your life in an interesting, entertaining, humorous and insightful way. It’s brave, it’s creative and it’s inspiring. And people will get that when they read your book. All my friends are getting your book for the holidays, dammit! It’s required reading!

]]> By: Mary http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/im-torn/comment-page-1/#comment-3896 Mary Tue, 10 Aug 2010 15:05:48 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2219#comment-3896 Actually Sam, I made the lighten up remark myself on the "howdy haters" comments. But thanks for noticing. And yes, I assumed you are a male. I do not disagree with you or agree with you. Just really think your making more of an issue here than need be! It seems as though you are the one with such a strong stance on the subject. It is just book, a funny look at life. I dd not intend to "knock down" your opinion. If you felt knocked down, I do apologize. You seem to think most women are all wrapped up in denial . I for one am an older women who embraces age, no botox, not looking to recapture the youthful years, just accepting the future and love the comic look at my Formerly Hot life. That is not to say that my life now is not HOT.... and yes Sam.... I do think you need to lighten up !! Smile, life is good :) No haters here ! Actually Sam, I made the lighten up remark myself on the “howdy haters” comments. But thanks for noticing. And yes, I assumed you are a male. I do not disagree with you or agree with you. Just really think your making more of an issue here than need be! It seems as though you are the one with such a strong stance on the subject. It is just book, a funny look at life. I dd not intend to “knock down” your opinion. If you felt knocked down, I do apologize. You seem to think most women are all wrapped up in denial . I for one am an older women who embraces age, no botox, not looking to recapture the youthful years, just accepting the future and love the comic look at my Formerly Hot life. That is not to say that my life now is not HOT…. and yes Sam…. I do think you need to lighten up !! Smile, life is good :) No haters here !

]]> By: Sam http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/08/im-torn/comment-page-1/#comment-3894 Sam Tue, 10 Aug 2010 14:00:12 +0000 http://www.formerlyhot.com/?p=2219#comment-3894 I wanted to say thanks to Stephanie, I appreciate her allowing my comments to go through. She could just as easily block them. That's definitely fostering an environment for dialogue. I wanted to say thanks to Stephanie, I appreciate her allowing my comments to go through. She could just as easily block them. That’s definitely fostering an environment for dialogue.

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