299781821_a2be62ac72There are two reasons your jeans slide down your butt and need to be hiked up as you walk your children up the stairs to their classrooms.

The first is that you’ve seamlessly integrated a healthy regimen of yoga, meditation and mindful kale-eating into your daily life that the pounds have melted off without your noticing, so focused are you on what’s truly important in your oneness with the world.

The other is that, in the insanity of modern life–in my case, divorcing, moving, refurnishing, refurbishing, earning a living, caring for two kinetically energetic 8-year-olds and standing under the smoke alarm waving a piece of cardboard every time I try to cook in my new apartment–you’ve had a few too many what-the-hell moments. The pants are sliding down not because they are so roomy but because your belly is more comfortable sitting atop the waistband, rather than being painfully bisected by it. They bag a bit in the butt, because the butt part of the jeans is now closer to your upper thighs, but no belt is going to help you now.

Second category over here.

Photo by The Giant Vermin CC