Lest anyone poo-pooh the plight of the Formerly, we have Demi Moore’s recent collapse to illustrate that bending like the proverbial tree in the wind is pretty much the way to go. The alternative, snapping in half, clearly doesn’t work no matter how good you look.

In case you’ve not devoured People and US and every other tabloid in the last week or so, the near-50-year-old Moore is in some kind of rehab, supposedly because she’s not dealing well with the fact that her skank of a husband cheated on her so publicly. But many sources–which, granted, tend to repeat what the others say–seem to think she is age-obsessed and bugging out mainly because she is not 21 anymore. The video above pretty much sums it up.

Now, I came down on her a couple of years back for not owning her surgery, and thus making the rest of us feel like if we only exercised more and used the right $240 per ounce night cream we would look as good as she does. (My wee bloggy self coming down on anyone is like a light tap on the shoulder, but still). To me, not admitting the truth was just unkind to women who are already inclined to be hard on themselves.

But now I feel for her. Clearly, laughing at herself for her concerns about aging–which is the main way I like to keep perspective about it, along with Laura Mercier undereye concealer–either didn’t work or wasn’t available to her as an option. My hunch is that she never allowed herself to feel her way through the awkward transition from young to old(er) that we all inevitably experience. Instead, she tamped it down with surgery and procedures and lap dances and young husbands and tweeting snapshots of herself looking incredible in a bikini.

In my experience and opinion, the only way to get through something difficult is to go THROUGH, not around, no matter whether it’s divorce (my latest drama), disappointment or the passage of time.

Memo to Demi: It’s really fine and sometimes quite awesome over here on the other side of young. When you’re ready, I’ll be here, anyway, for a cup of coffee and a laugh.