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This chunk of the site will showcase some world famous FORMERLIES.I'll be adding to it and please go ahead and recommend some famous FORMERLIES I might not know about.

Formerly Hall of Fame, IN THE MIX, What's Your Formerly?, YOUNG

Forever 35

THE MIDLIFE GALS WROTE: I have decided to be 35.  I am going to skip past the notion that 50 is the new forty and go down to the 30’s.  It just sounds better and feels better too.  Until, of course, I have to put my mascara on in one of those magnifying mirrors that makes me look like my face is one BIG eye. My eyelids have crept down to produce their own double chins, so I have to really open my eyes wide and lift my eyebrows in order to put on eye shadow.  And, speaking of eyebrows, mine are going bald so I have to use a pencil to ‘fill in.’ I’m thinking of tattooing eyebrows on so I can eliminate one more step in my beauty regimen, but then I’d have to glue individual hairs on top of that so I wouldn’t look like Marlene Dietrich.  So, I’ll think 35, but everyone will still see 57.  Can’t be helped! Onward, through the fog!

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Formerly considered healthy

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margarine.

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Formerly seedy

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Now, I’m not one of those people who claims to miss the old Times Square, with the sorry hookers and scary pimps and drug addicts loitering in every doorway. The closest I ever came to getting mugged (I’ve never been, in 41 years in NYC) was there in the ’80s, as I bought a ticket at Port Authority to get the Peter Pan up to Middletown, CT, where I went to college.

It’s just that the relatively new Times Square is no better, differently bad, as it were. I worked there for years and it takes 20 minutes to cross a street. Tourists who have apparently never seen a musclebound cowboy in tightie-whities playing guitar in all weather or a gigantic TV featuring a dancing potato stare upward instead of watching their wallets, like they still should be doing in NYC.

I was trapped behind such a cluster of visitors (thanks for supporting the local economy) and had to get back to my office to pee so badly that I grabbed one by her shoulders and bodily moved her aside. She looked a little freaked but I think she wrote me off as one of those rude NYers and was glad to have a story to tell when she got back to Canton.

I have no idea if she was from Canton. Here’s what I loved seeing in Times Square: A group of big-boned, exceedinly pale women with TV-anchor haircuts wearing matching T-shirts that read, “What happens in  Canton stays in Canton.” That made me laugh all day. Never underestimate the Cantonease.

Anyway, Times Square, formerly seedy, currently grotesque.

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Formerly black

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Just too easy but I couldn’t resist.

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Formerly a manslut

The first inaugural member of the FHHOF is, of course, Mr. Hollywood himself, the most notorious Lothario ever to work his way through the ’70s foxiest femmes, 71-year-old Warren Beatty. (And the crowd goes wild!) Warren at his studliestHe has dated (and this is by no means a complete list): Kate Jackson, Diane Keaton, Brigitte Bardot, Britt Eckland, Faye Dunaway, Diane Von Furstenberg, Diana Ross, Connie Chung (!!) and at least four Barbaras of various spellings, all per www.whodatedwho.com. That is, until 1992, when he married Annette Bening and sired her four children. Either she was “the one” or he was just tired.

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