She’s not a fan
DENISE IN SF WROTE: Well, what I can tell you is that I wasn’t hot in my 20s. I was fat and insecure, but still pretty. In my 40’s I turn more heads and feel fantastic. Everyone who disagrees with you is not a “hater.” But I would say your little gimmick is pretty stupid. Anyone, anywhere who feels the need to pigeonhole women into tidy little categories is adding to the problem. And you do not look like Julia or Julia! You’re not saying I can’t be hot? Gee, thanks! But some of us have never considered tacky Diesel leather skirts “hot.” Sexy can be a beautiful shift that fits close to the body, etc. You seem like the kind of person who would describe a woman in her 40s as “still having a great figure.” Like it is some kind of a shock or something. Oh, well, I’m sure you’re making money, which was the whole idea, right? Another contribution to our dumbed down society. Great!
Denise in SF
NOELLE WROTE: I have two precious things in my life, one that makes me feel “hot” - the perfect little black dress - and one that makes me feel “formerly hot” - a 15 year old daughter. Her friend had a “club-themed” Sweet 16 party and the next thing I know my Little Black Dress walked out the door on my Little Girl. My clothes are going to parties I’m not invited to!
KIMBERLY WROTE: Ray-bans, how I love thee, but sometimes I’m afraid my desire is driven by intense nostalgia for those former days of the 80’s and I’m also afraid the youngsters (hipsters) will think I’m trying to “be cool” and that I’m clearly too old to be wearing them. Ray-bans were the “it” glasses when I was in high school and my over analysis of how others will respond shows I’m clearly conflicted about leaving my former life behind. I teach fashion students and when they show up to class dressed like they’re on their way to a OMD concert I shutter and resist the urge to tell them they have stolen that outfit from my high school closet. Also, jealous that I’m NOT on my way to an OMD concert. SO I continue to wear my Ray-bans with love, nostalgia, baggage and all.
K WROTE: I was always the youngest –in my class, at work, among my friends. Then I worked for five years b/f I started law school. Suddenly I was the oldest. And — seven years later, still the oldest. Everyone who is at the same stage of the profession is at least 4 or 5 years younger than me. This may not seem like a lot, but while my other friends are now on their second children, thinking about whether they can still wear short(ish) skirts, and getting divorced or remarried — my younger friends are still spending their summers going to 1st weddings and amazed that their other friends are old enough to purposely get pregnant. I didn’t think there would be a difference between 31 and 36, but there definitely is. Plus, I’m definitely not the one at the dinner table with whom the waiter is flirting. Petty irritations, sure. But dismaying nonetheless.
SHARON WROTE: Hey what’s up with the Formerly Hot stuff? If you’re proud of your accomplishments and are in love with life…every day is full of creativity and excitement. I’m a veteran globetrotting travel journalist writing about adventure-I invite ya’ll to join me exploring Planet Earth. Read my global travel features: www.moultrienews.com Click Travel. Plan your own adventures: you’ll be hotter than ever. Sharon Spence Lieb, 50+++ and in love with travel and my husband.
DENISE WROTE: I was always the go along girl…lots of friends, always up for a dare, party from Weds to Sun and still make it to work on time. Never lacked a date or sat home alone. I moved away for a few yrs & when I came back single I was shocked at how old everyone had gotten. Gray, kids, overweight…what happened to them??? I went out with co-workers one night &…oh my god! I was the oldest person in the room! How did that happen? Well, 2 yrs later I’m a mom & now I can’t remember why I thought life was so great before. My all nighters & the bottles in the pantry are completely different now, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve been told I haven’t changed since high school…visually - they’re right, not sure if that’s a good thing, but I know I’m different. I have so much more confidence & peace & satisfaction & love. I wouldn’t trade a mountain of dirty diapers for my old life ever! I love every stinking one!
FORMERLY HIGH CQ WROTE: I used to have a High Cool Quotient. I went to parties, museums, restaurants, bars, sporting events, the theatre, the ballet, . . out with friends, out making friends. Now I am ‘Uncool’. A ‘fun ruiner, party pooper’ say my children. I reminisce with other ‘Formerlies’ whenever I can. It’s the only way to get through it!!!
MAY POPPS WRITES: I got a pretty fair share amount of attention when I was in my 20’s with little effort. After 3 kids, yo-yo weight issues that accompany that, at 39, I’ve had to put much more effort into looking good. I had been feeling better bout myself for a few weeks, lost some weight, got a tan, etc. But when a cute 22 yr old guy @ work asked me a questioned about payroll tax withholding “since I was a mother-figure around here” I was crushed! I was depressed for 2 weeks! But driven to work harder to look even better, lost more weight, & actually wore a 2 piece to the beach in Florida, without embarrassing my kids.
ROBUNDLE WROTE: I have always been a pretty petite little dark-haired girl with large brown eyes. I’m not as petite as I used to be, now that I am 48. I never expected that I wouldn’t be able to fit into my size 6 clothing. I’m about an 8/10 now, and I prefer to view myself as “curvy”. I think “curvy” is a euphemism for a few extra pounds. Anyway, I was at the hair salon a few weeks ago. It is a wonderful salon with an Asian influence. The man that owns the salon is from Laos. He was running his fingers through my hair and was advising me on the best style. He said: “not too long, as you are a middle-aged woman”. Wow, that is the first time someone has ever called me “Middle-aged”. Not sure that I liked it, but I guess it means in a way that I have arrived and can now demand a certain amount of respect. Out of my way…you youngsters!
NICOLE WROTE: What has happened to me? I have just come to the sad realization that it has been more than 20 years since I graduated at the top of my university class at the age of 20. Where am I now? Unemployed (okay…I “consult”), but I am very, very good at what I do. I just hate it. Really, really hate it. So much that I haven’t been able to have a career that most people expected from me. My scary next step…I am seeking a lower paying executive level position with a large non-profit that works with kids. Something that I have always wanted to do, but could never give up the income. I still can’t afford to, but I have to have a happy next 20 years!
