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Dropping in!

CAROLYN WROTE: I have since worked my former-drop-out butt off for a year, and have been accepted into the highly competitive nursing program, thanks to my shiny 4.0 GPA and great letters of recommendation from my teachers. Imagine! I even aced Chem and Anatomy & Physiology! In two years’ time, I’ll have my RN and will have completely turned my life around!

FORMERLY FRIVOLOUS

This is what having a kid can do to you. She also sent in “FORMERLY IRRESPONSIBLE,” “FORMERLY CHILDLESS” AND “FORMERLY PIMPIN’ (IT WASN’T EASY, EITHER!!)”

Formerly afraid of birthdays

AMY WROTE: At my 16th Birthday, I was depressed because all the grown ups said this is the best time of your life, so I though it would soon be over and I would become one of them with nothing but dreary drudgery ahead. My 17th was like a wake; but lo and behold, I was never happier. Yet, I thought, “this is it , now I ‘m in for it. Nothing but shoulds from now on. Yet that year was even better and now at 72, I have never dreaded another birthday. Each year has been better than the last and the last one was great.

What do you MEAN you don't make a size 12???

AMANDA WROTE: I tried on this dress at Betsy Johnson…then I discovered that BJ doesn’t even make a size 12! Whatever. I found a cute dress at Anthropologie, a halter top no less, that I can pull of sans Spanx and still enjoy some bbq on my visit to the south. Btw, this is my first post on a blog ever, but i felt compelled to contribute. I feel like I have found my people!

Less is less

KELLY WROTE: Am I the only one out here that has to spend three times longer applying twice as much stuff to look half as I good way back when?

Waxing Formerly

NFA WROTE: I ran out of strips to do my home waxing in the middle of a wax, so I bought another kit. My kids were out on Sunday morning, so I managed to wax the back of one of the unfinished legs. Then they came home, and I couldn’t get to the back of the other one. And I’m still walking around with a partially hairy leg.

The naked truth

ALEX WROTE: …looking SO old and SO bad, that ME, naked under a nightgown, smacks of Granny Clampett. In.the.flesh. Yup, see’em and weep.

Rockin' the MOM SUIT!

Used to be I could pluck any old shred of spandex off the rack at the start of swimsuit season, but after two kids in 20 months, this bod needs the big guns–the triple-figure-price-tag, babypool-appropriate, quadruple-ply tanksuit. Goodbye, H&M, hello Lord & Taylor. I walked out with the aquatic equivalent of control tops–from the demure Gottex Profile Collection–but rather than defeated I felt, well, sort of hot. I’d rather rock a mom suit than look like a hoochie mama!

New uses for old breasts

AMY WROTE: Not being robustly endowed, [my breasts] didn’t attract a lot of attention, but were, you know, appreciated. Now, the only people who are interested in them are the mammogram women. You know, the cute, perky, super happy blond radiologist who sweetly and cutely smooshes my boob down till it’s thinner than a good diner pancake. And says, “Oh, we have dense breasts, don’t we? We’ll have to do three images. Of each.” Yes, that’s right. Six smooshings. Six pancake pictures.