formerlyhot.com

This movie requires Flash Player 8

A Formerly Formerly.  Just turned 75 and wanted to give hope.  I had the most intense romantic relationship of my life at age 67.   Lasted three years and it was wunnerful.   Never married but chose to live with partner “male” for 27 years.  that ended with death in 1985.Thanks to good genes I have been told that I don’t look a day over 60.  HA, I feel there is a 33 year old trapped in this old body that I don’t work near hard enough to maintain.  But facewise I am lucky.  Very few wrinkles.  I remember when I became a formerly.   When the admiring looks from men tapered off at around 35.  Up until then i basked in the looks I would get.  But take heart all of you, I can truthfully say that each decade past 30 has been Great and I am looking forward to what time I have left.  Still working full time at something I LOVE.   Thoroughly enjoyed your book, read in one sitting.

ANON WROTE: The worst was the time I took my son to the pediatrician, he must have been 7 so this was only last year, and this young woman comes in and introduces herself as the doctor, (she looked like she was 18).  She asked if we would mind if a medical student came in to observe, we said no problem, that woman looked all of 12!! Definitely felt old that day (I am 42).

Photo by Christiano Betta CC

ROBIN WROTE: I was married by age 23, and had my daughter when I was 27. Those were my years of dragging around diape rbags and wearing formula stains on  my clothes. I love my husband and daughter!! I wouldn’t trade them for all the bar-hoping and toad-kissing in the world!
I like being in my 40’s! Yes, we are getting older, but why worry about the past? Find a hobby, enjoy your family, and do something for your community. It’s fun to be 40!

LYNNE WROTE: As hot as I became in my 40’s (best shape, looks, hair, muscles, body, confidence)….there was nothing like this wake-up call.  Just walk down the street with your 20 year old daughter - who has no idea of her sex appeal — and learn what really turns heads.  Fortunately, I checked my ego and enjoyed the scene ….on her behalf..

Photo by Alan Cleaver CC

MARI WROTE: I used to get, “You’re too young to be a doctor,” all the time, to the point that I would wear glasses to look more respected and older. Now we have residents 10 years younger than me and instead, I have to wear glasses to see the computer and the patients ask ME how old those young doctors are. Respect, I like, not having to apologize for my age, I don’t miss, but it still leaves me grieving that “too young to be a doctor” comment just a little…

Photo by Kitty27 CC

SARAH WROTE: On the brink of the recently coined “quarter-life crisis” at 24, I came to the conclusion that my burgeoning comfort in my own skin much more satisfying and interesting than where to find the best deal on Coach anything. I don’t yet know what on Earth I’m going to do with my skills and new found power, but I’m gonna be fabulous all the way!

DENISE IN SF WROTE: Well, what I can tell you is that I wasn’t hot in my 20s.  I was fat and insecure, but still pretty.  In my 40’s I turn more heads and feel fantastic.  Everyone who disagrees with you is not a “hater.”  But I would say your little gimmick is pretty stupid.  Anyone, anywhere who feels the need to pigeonhole women into tidy little categories is adding to the problem.  And you do not look like Julia or Julia!  You’re not saying I can’t be hot?  Gee, thanks!  But some of us have never considered tacky Diesel leather skirts “hot.” Sexy can be a beautiful shift that fits close to the body, etc.  You seem like the kind of person who would describe a woman in her 40s as “still having a great figure.”  Like it is some kind of a shock or something.  Oh, well, I’m sure you’re making money, which was the whole idea, right?  Another contribution to our dumbed down society.  Great!

Denise in SF

NOELLE WROTE: I have two precious things in my life, one that makes me feel “hot” - the perfect little black dress - and one that makes me feel “formerly hot” - a 15 year old daughter. Her friend had a “club-themed” Sweet 16 party and the next thing I know my Little Black Dress walked out the door on my Little Girl.  My clothes are going to parties I’m not invited to!

Photo by Dancer Dalagio CC

KIMBERLY WROTE: Ray-bans, how I love thee, but sometimes I’m afraid my desire is driven by intense nostalgia for those former days of the 80’s and I’m also afraid the youngsters (hipsters) will think I’m trying to “be cool” and that I’m clearly too old to be wearing them.  Ray-bans were the “it” glasses when I was in high school and my over analysis of how others will respond shows I’m clearly conflicted about leaving my former life behind.   I teach fashion students and when they show up to class dressed like they’re on their way to a OMD concert I shutter and resist the urge to tell them they have stolen that outfit from my high school closet.  Also, jealous that I’m NOT on my way to an OMD concert.  SO I continue to wear my Ray-bans with love, nostalgia, baggage and all.

K WROTE:  I was always the youngest –in my class, at work, among my friends. Then I worked for five years b/f I started law school. Suddenly I was the oldest. And — seven years later, still the oldest. Everyone who is at the same stage of the profession is at least 4 or 5 years younger than me. This may not seem like a lot, but while my other friends are now on their second children, thinking about whether they can still wear short(ish) skirts, and getting divorced or remarried — my younger friends are still spending their summers going to 1st weddings and amazed that their other friends are old enough to purposely get pregnant. I didn’t think there would be a difference between 31 and 36, but there definitely is. Plus, I’m definitely not the one at the dinner table with whom the waiter is flirting. Petty irritations, sure. But dismaying nonetheless.

Photo by KRSPOS CC