OK, cough it up!I want to know what your FORMERLY is, not least of all because perhaps it'll be as superficial and relatively unimportant in the scheme of things as is mine.
Obviously, the fact that you've always been the smartest kid in your family and yet couldn't bring yourself to finish your dissertation is nothing compared to the problems of veterans returning minus a limb, but it's still worth a few words. Or that your high school peers voted you most likely to get rich quick and you're working at Dunkin' Donuts. Or that you had the marriage and little blond children that seemed so perfect, and now you have an ex and bigger blond children that you see every other weekend.
Boo-effin'-hoo, some will say. You're not homeless. You're not trapped in some abandoned bomb shelter with nothing but a skeleton and some plant water to drink like that girl on All My Children. Get some real problems. And you will, at some point. But for now, I want to hear about your FORMERLY.
Go to the drop-down menu, and select a FORMERLY from among the ones I posted. If none apply, write your own in the box to the right. And then give me a few words (no more than 200) on your FORMERLY, what it meant to you and how you're dealing. You can also post a relevant picture (it needn't be you but something that says it all). Keep it relatively clean, kids, and feel free to post more than one. You can be serious, self-mocking, however you feel.
Regular readers will forgive this rerun, but I’m hoping a bunch of fresh eyes are on the site today after the TODAY Show appearence. After watching the book trailer (above) and this and this video (oh, and maybe this one, too!) you probably know whether you’re a Formerly. But just in case…here’s one more!
PLUS!
20 SIGNS YOU’RE A FORMERLY
1. You’ve even once pulled the skin of your face back and slightly up to see what you’d look like with a facelift
2. High school kids are now wearing what you wore in high school.
JESSICA WROTE: I had to run out to pick up cold medicine for my son and ran into my friend’s brother whom I hadn’t seen in 5 years. In our meeting he told me I looked older, he attempted to redeem himself by saying, “I mean more mature.” Ouch. I later talked to my friend he told me his brother had thought I was stoned. Nope, the fun days are long gone and replaced with kids, work, and bills, making me extremely tired looking.
CYNTHIA WROTE: I used to be able to count on manly types stopping to assist when auto failure haunted my travels. Had three crusty geezers trying to change a tire in the rain not so long ago. A recent breakdown found not a soul willing to offer a jump-start, and I knew I’d “crossed over.” Mom says just wait; pretty soon they’ll be back to help me out ’cause I’m an old lady. Thanks, Mom. Of course, I know how to do my own repairs. It’s the principle of the thing.
THE MIDLIFE GALS WROTE: I have decided to be 35. I am going to skip past the notion that 50 is the new forty and go down to the 30’s. It just sounds better and feels better too. Until, of course, I have to put my mascara on in one of those magnifying mirrors that makes me look like my face is one BIG eye. My eyelids have crept down to produce their own double chins, so I have to really open my eyes wide and lift my eyebrows in order to put on eye shadow. And, speaking of eyebrows, mine are going bald so I have to use a pencil to ‘fill in.’ I’m thinking of tattooing eyebrows on so I can eliminate one more step in my beauty regimen, but then I’d have to glue individual hairs on top of that so I wouldn’t look like Marlene Dietrich. So, I’ll think 35, but everyone will still see 57. Can’t be helped! Onward, through the fog!
BEV WROTE: I was in sunny Santa Monica for business and had time for a brisk walk before catching a taxi back to the airport. I noticed some young men gathered in a parking lot, and as I walked by, I had to smile as I heard one of them call out, “hey baby, you’re looking good…you’re looking sexy….”
My confidence was boosted until he finished his sentence, “…for your age.”
screech!!
FOR MY AGE????
god. Can we please rewind that and cut the scene three words sooner? ha.
LAURA WROTE: I went out to a bar with my single girlfriends. I am 38 and I got hit on by a 23 yr old who wanted to take me home - which made my night - UNTIL…as I was leaving, I saw him riding away ON A BIKE!!!!!
MARYANN WROTE: This past weekend I had met another golfer gal and we were discussing our age. I told her I was 45 and my bf looked at me and said “45 again? Do the math”! Ok so I’ll be 47…I just don’t look my age and since it’s only a number oh well…I’ll remain 45 until I finally look 45! HA!
ELAINE WROTE: Just received invite to my 50th!!! high school reunion. I still can’t wrap my head around that number. To be honest, I don’t feel “formerly” hot - I just feel ‘hot’. Hey, I know I’m not young - not in denial. But hell, hot is hot… no matter what your driver’s license says
SNARLOTTA WROTE: I read an academic article from a professor I wanted to interview for a story, so I googled him for contact info and lo and behold there was a picture of him on his university’s web site. and i immediately thought, ooh, hot older guy!
and then i saw in his CV that he graduated from college a year after I did.
to look on the bright side, i guess it’s nice that i don’t see myself as crinkly and gray, or that i thought someone younger than i was hot (albeit elderly)?
SHARE YOUR STORY
You're formerly something, but you're no doubt finally something you've aspired to, too. To share your FORMERLY/FINALLY story CLICK HERE.
Great line IVY WROTE: I'd get attention from guys in their 20s and tell them, "Look, I'm not interested in adopting."
The circle of life TRAYCIE WROTE: My mom was (and still is) petite. We wore the same size when I was in high school in the early 1980's. She used to pass really cute clothes or shoes over to me by saying "It's too young for me". Now, here in 2012, I find myself passing on some of the cutest clothes by saying "It's too young for me". Dammit!
Love this post! from Autumn This blog is my story, all over.
I am a Formerly Hot blonde..always the 'pretty one' in the family, never lacking for attention or dates. Fast forward...I'm now 42, mother of four blonde blessings, and yes....going through a totally-typical divorce. The funny thing is...during a fifteen-yr abusive marriage, I was brought so low that I had completely 'let myself go' (and I despise that saying!) Now that I'm free, I'm finally strong enough to take the time and effort to take care of ME...haircuts, highlights, tanning, whitening my teeth...and eating healthfully and exercising, of course. I had become so accustomed to being virtually invisible during my thirties that the scant attention I now still receive from men just absolutely floors me! Ah, it's good to find that girl again. Yes, the men paying attention are my age or older, but that's as it should be, and fine with me!
Ladies, you're still hot...just hot now to a different demographic. Embrace it: it's not gone! :)
Perspective, people CATHY WROTE: I just read your book and appreciated it, though I can't really relate. Not only am I 15 years older than you, I was never hot. I have a mild case of cerebral palsy; while I can, thank God, walk and talk, I limp and my right arm swings like a broken tree branch. When I shop for clothes, style doesn't count. Can I get into it by myself? Will these shoes support my right ankle?
A classic, truly WENDY WROTE: I'm strangely not embarrassed to admit that my FORMERLY moment involves a velour jogging suit, fleece-lined crocs, a bird store...and Cheerios.
Agree? QUEEN WROTE: There comes a time in your life when u suddenly realize that you are not cute anymore. You are still pretty and more secure, hopefully more intelligent and secure, but you just don't turn heads the way you used to. But its not because you became ugly, I believe there are beautiful and ugly in young and old.
Relief, of a kind KIKI WROTE: Finally! I don't get hit on all the time. It's kind of nice to be able to go to the store and be checked out (no pun intended) without the clerk asking me if I've got a boyfriend. D
Olivia d’Abo was the hot older daughter! JULIE WROTE: The AmeriCorps (2o-something) in my office were discussing dopplegangers. I remarked that I was never really told I look like anyone-oh, except for the sister on the Wonder Years (Olivia d'Abo character)...to which the reply (nonsnarky, just curious) was..."don't you mean the mom?" What???
HILARIOUS CHRISTINE WROTE: ...Last year my 13 year old step daughter wore my dress to a birthday party. I told my friends the story and one of the husbands replied, "that was a farewell dress. Farewell to size 4."
9-year-old fashion tips LAURA WROTE: My 9 year old daughter, who knows everything, informed me that I was too old to even think about wearing a bikini or even a two piece. She informed me that tankini's were OK because they covered my flabby parts and made it easy for me since I have to go to the bathroom so much (bladder sling surgery in 3 months.)
BEV WROTE: I was in sunny Santa Monica for business and had time for a brisk walk before catching a taxi back to the airport. I noticed some young men gathered in a parking lot, and as I walked by, I had to smile as I heard one of them call out, “hey baby, you’re looking good…you’re looking sexy….”
LAURA WROTE: I went out to a bar with my single girlfriends. I am 38 and I got hit on by a 23 yr old who wanted to take me home - which made my night - UNTIL…as I was leaving, I saw him riding away ON A BIKE!!!!!
ELAINE WROTE: Just received invite to my 50th!!! high school reunion. I still can’t wrap my head around that number. To be honest, I don’t feel “formerly” hot - I just feel ‘hot’. Hey, I know I’m not young - not in denial. But hell, hot is hot… no matter what your driver’s license says 
