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Posts Tagged ‘makeup’

Why we need more scientists

Much has been written about how the US is being outpaced by China and India when it comes to graduating engineers who will lead the world in important scientific and technological breakthroughs. Naturally, the President is concerned, as are legislators who predict that because we’re net importers of technology and not taking science and math education seriously enough, that our kiddies will have a lower standard of living than us and we’ll be forever dependent on foreign oil for energy.

Blah blah blah. All true.

But more to the point, who will make more and better makeup for the nation’s Formerlies, an increasingly pressing concern with each passing day? That’s what I want to know. Now that we (and by we, I mean I) need more and more makeup to look like we once did when we weren’t wearing any makeup, this issue is one that I feel I must take a stand on.

I am standing as I write this. It’s not so comfortable. I’m going to sit. But I still mean it.

Hopefully the above video for My Formerly Hot Life (40 days until it’s released!) will inspire action on the part of our nation’s leaders, who will better fund science education in our schools, and incentivize our children to seize the helm of nanoparticle technology research and uncover new and innovative ways in which to restore collagen elasticity to the faces of Formerlies everywhere, not to mention come up with cool new colors that bring out one’s eyes, drawing attention away from one’s nasal labial folds.

Are you with me? If so, please post and forward the video.

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I’m melting! I’m melting!

There was a time when I would wake up, twist my hair up with a pencil, pee and go, looking pretty if not polished.

Now it takes makeup to make me have that not-wearing-makeup-but-still-human look. Without makeup? A cross between Mike Meyer’s Linda Richman character from SNL and the undead.

Do the math: the amount of work it used to take to look ready for work, it now takes for me to look ready to take the kids to school. I’m losing ground. Pretty soon it’ll take a three-hour airbrush session with a professional makeup artist for me to be presentable to take out the trash (the compactor shoot is situated five steps outside our apartment.)

This is not good, people. Suggestions welcome. 2640372134_aae172aef4.jpg

Photo by: Alex Castella, CC Licensed

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