Ass bras and other implements of torture
Ever since I posted this little video, in which I posited that if there were a such thing as an ass bra, I would wear one, several of you have sent me links to actual ass bras.
I was a bit horrified, although not really surprised. If they have Spanx for one’s bingo arms, why wouldn’t there be an actual ass bra?
Now that I see them, though, there’s no way I’m strapping one on. This one looks like a harness that you’d use for belaying down the side of a rock face, and this one, well, there are no words. It looks like it would create bizarre pantylines without solving any droop problems. In other words, the cure is worse than the disease, insofar as a Formerly butt is a disease, which I don’t think it is. It’s not exactly therapeutic, but disease is overstating it a touch.
I think I’ll just go back to my old tactic of ignoring my butt altogether–luckily, it’s pretty hard to see unless I crane my neck around–and concentrate on looking fore instead of aft.
AMANDA WROTE: I formerly would have looked hot in this dress. I never go into Betsy Johnson, but it just screamed at me and my best friend from the window, it was SO ME…um, 20 years ago. I tried on the 10 and it looked good but in a ‘trying too hard, how much Spanx am I gonna need to pull this off’ kind of way. My friend suggests a 12 would be better, the lovely Debbie Harry-esque sales girl searches for me and tells me there are none in the system. In searching for the picture to post here, I now realize that is because Betsy Johnson doesn’t even make a size 12! Whatever. I found a cute dress at Anthropologie, a halter top no less, that I can pull of sans Spanx and still enjoy some bbq on my visit to the south. Btw, this is my first post on a blog ever, but i felt compelled to contribute. I feel like I have found my people!
