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Much has been written about how the US is being outpaced by China and India when it comes to graduating engineers who will lead the world in important scientific and technological breakthroughs. Naturally, the President is concerned, as are legislators who predict that because we’re net importers of technology and not taking science and math education seriously enough, that our kiddies will have a lower standard of living than us and we’ll be forever dependent on foreign oil for energy.

Blah blah blah. All true.

But more to the point, who will make more and better makeup for the nation’s Formerlies, an increasingly pressing concern with each passing day? That’s what I want to know. Now that we (and by we, I mean I) need more and more makeup to look like we once did when we weren’t wearing any makeup, this issue is one that I feel I must take a stand on.

I am standing as I write this. It’s not so comfortable. I’m going to sit. But I still mean it.

Hopefully the above video for My Formerly Hot Life (40 days until it’s released!) will inspire action on the part of our nation’s leaders, who will better fund science education in our schools, and incentivize our children to seize the helm of nanoparticle technology research and uncover new and innovative ways in which to restore collagen elasticity to the faces of Formerlies everywhere, not to mention come up with cool new colors that bring out one’s eyes, drawing attention away from one’s nasal labial folds.

Are you with me? If so, please post and forward the video.

This Formerly fashion thing gets tricky sometimes.

Yesterday, we filmed the hopefully-soon-to-be-viral video to promote my hopefully-soon-to-be-well-received book. The scene involved a Formerly weeding through her closet to figure out what still worked, and what would best be donated to Goodwill for some 20something to discover and decide she invented the look.

For the box of old clothes the main character was to go through, I scoured thrift stores to find the appropriate inappropriate, clearly unwearable, outdated items. Then Marika, the actress playing the beautiful and thankfully wise Formerly, and I hit H&M for a pair of ridiculous, crippling shoes that we figured there was no way a Formerly would ever wear, now that she is capable of rational decision-making with regard to footwear. Just for fun, I snagged an acid-wash, three-tiered mini skirt, of the variety Tiffany would have worn in her shopping mall tour in 1987. (more…)